Enrollment Is on the Horizon!

Enrollment Is on the Horizon!

Sign up now for classes taught by wonderful teachers
Whose brains have been uploaded into teacher-like AI robots!
Students may choose their preferred professorial style!
Wanna keep it old-school? Get ready 
For some ink-stained tweed and elbow patches!
Or maybe you wanna go dark academia this quarter! 
Witchy dress and raven black hair with a skunk-like white stripe,
Here we come! Your teachers possess all the knowledge the internet
Could find on their particular field of study.
Get ready for a dizzying journey through the history of philosophy!
This teacher’s lectures are patched together from all Shakespeare’s plays!
Your math teacher is simultaneously solving gnarly problems in differential calculus!
Your Italian teacher also speaks German, French, Catalan, Maltese and Xhosa!
And your teachers will always be so happy to write you letters of recommendation!
So enroll today. Classes begin whenever you want them to.