Bureaucratic Bloat

Bureaucratic Bloat

She’s the assistant to the Assistant
Of the Vice Provost of Student Affairs.
He’s with the Bursar’s Office where he takes
Whatever tasks have fallen through the cracks.
As an advisor she has three students
She isn’t beneath carrying to class.
He’s with the Communications Office,
His role to be sure they don’t say too much. 
She’s the Chief Academic Officer.
He’s the Director of Career Services.
She helps faculty to adopt AI
So it can more seamlessly replace them.
He works with donors to make their money
Fall into the deepest, darkest pockets.
She’s the University Compliance
Officer, detecting noncompliance.
He’s a support specialist, sort of just
Floating, putting out whatever fires.
She’s a Human Resources Manager.
He’s a Human Resources Consultant.
She’s a Human Resources Specialist.
He’s a Human Resources Liaison.

On the farm I grew up on, the dead cows
Would bloat in the barnyard in the summer
Heat, their pasty tongues lolling out, their eyes
Blotted with flies, such that we boys would walk
Wide circles around them lest they explode. 
Not to mention the fact they smelled awful.