Boomer Watching
Boomer Watching (In the voice of David Attenborough) Hush now. We’re here at the winter nesting site Of the mysterious, elusive boomer. Oh their population numbers are quite high, Hence the name, but they’re a skittish creature. Easily spooked. Best not to approach them. They’ll come up to you if they need directions. Very easy to identify them in their winter coats. Patagonia puffies, the cells plump with down. On warmer days the females shed their coats And go out in athleisure, while the males Will strip down to ill-fitting flannels and vests. You may notice they use walking poles, Even when there’s no apparent reason to. Nothing to fear, these aren’t often used as weapons, But are adaptations they’ve acquired for stability. In terms of where to find boomers, you’ll see High numbers along the bike paths, almost all Accompanied by very small dogs, a species With which they enjoy a symbiotic relationship, As well as at financial services offices Such as Charles Schwab and Starbuck’s. If you encounter one in the wild, wave and smile And they might stop and talk with you Despite the fact that you’re obviously preoccupied. But it’s best not to approach their homes, Which you can identify by Black Lives Matter signs, Lest you trigger an alarm. Fascinating species, This. Fantastically exciting to see so many In their natural habitat. Ah, here come a pair, Likely intending to ask what we’re doing here. Whatever you do, do not feed them. They’ve likely already eaten.